New Year's Resolutions Myth-buster Edition
Let's face it: For most of us, New Year's Resolutions just don't work. If you're like me, or most humans, you've tried setting a lofty New Year's Resolution (or a whole bunch) without much success. It feels like I cannot even remember what my resolutions even were by the time February rolls around. And about this time each year, I rally my motivation, dig for new goals and promise myself that this year it will be different. Invariably, I will wake up one morning and realize I've been back in my old habits without even realizing it, and I feel so disappointed in myself. Negative self-talk, condemnation, shaming and feelings of failure inevitably follow.
But when has beating yourself ever created lasting change? Sure, we all need a kick in the butt sometimes. But real change - real success - comes with self-awareness, self-compassion, and most importantly, a plan!
Self-awareness: motivational psychologists have found that setting the Langer Scale, long term goals like "drink more water" or "go to the gym more" doesn't activate the part of our brain that helps us form habits. Habits are often formed and reinforced by "triggers." For example, you might have your morning meds next to your coffee machine. You make your coffee and seeing your meds next to the machine "triggers" you to remember to take them. That is a visual trigger (like writing things on a big calendar on your fridge or putting affirmations on your bathroom mirror). Auditory triggers include setting alarms, listening to a certain playlist, and more. I like to play one side of a Rolling Stones record every time I clean. It's motivating to see how much I can vacuum before I need to flip the record over! Finally there are behavior triggers. Behavioral triggers are when you "chain" a new habit to an old habit. For example, I always walk my dog, but I often forget to check my mailbox. By always checking my mailbox when I walk the dog, I am linking a new habit to an old habit. Triggers are also how we activate habits we DON'T want. Like when you walk down the cookie aisle and see that Oreos are on sale (visual trigger).
Self-compassion: As we just learned, human brains are not built for lofty, vague goals. According to motivational psychology research, half of people fizzle out on full year resolutions, but shorter sprints like "Dry January" are substantially more successful. Not only do people tend to stick with their goals for longer, other healthy habits are more likely to incidentally develop, and those feelings of success are proven to motivate people to try other new habits in the following month(s). So be kind to yourself! No one wants to slog through a full year of something and feel like a failure when they don't succeed. Try something for 4-6 weeks instead and get that "motivational momentum" going!
A plan: big vague goals are incredibly difficult for our brains to connect to, because the sense of accomplishment we feel is far away, and may never come. It's like going to work every day but having no idea when payday is, or how often you'll get paid on that day! I don't know about you, but I'd quit that job real quick. Instead, SMART goals help us maintain that momentum, stay engaged, and know for sure that the choices we make are making a difference. SMART stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Related. In other words, the goal should be clearly defined (specific), have a way to track your progress (measureable), be something you're actually willing and able to do (achievable), be important to YOU (relevant) and be something you can check in on regularly, with a specific end point (time-related).
Be especially aware of the ART in SMART. I tend to set super lofty New Year's Resolutions, without considering all steps needed to help me get there. Consider your steps so your goal is achievable. Many people choose a resolution that is socially motivated rather than truly important to us. I find this one especially true with quitting a habit like drinking or smoking. Yes, we know the health benefits of quitting these things, but if it's not that important to you, truly, you aren't going to do it, because it's not realistic or relevant for you. And that's ok! Find something that is truly important to you, and start there. Finally, we see lots of goals with specific end-points like June 1st or December 31st, but we don't often make a plan to check our progress regularly. Then, when we finally realize we aren't making progress, it can feel "too late" and it makes us want to give up.
So, in order to make this year actually different, consider the following alternatives to setting New Year's Resolutions:
1. The New Year; New You Challenge here at the GLP. The NYNY Challenge is a 6 week sprint to get your motivational momentum going. You'll receive social support, 1-1 coaching sessions, and so much more! Reach out to your coach for details.
2. Identify your triggers. What triggers could you use to activate new habits? Maintain your current habits? Avoid triggering old habits? Instead of a resolution, target a trigger for a few weeks and see what happens!
3. Set a SMART goal, or a few! Schedule a coaching session with your coach at the GLP for more support in writing your SMART goals, and making sure they meet all the requirements.
4. Golden Rule #2, Lead with your Values: Choose a guiding word for your year. Also called a nudge, a theme, or a vision for your year, a guiding word can help give you an overarching sense of how you want to walk through life. This word will guide you as you choose your triggers, monthly sprints, and SMART goals. I like to spend time with my word for the year by making a colorful, creative vision board and showing it off to my friends and family. Others will write it on a sticky note on their steering wheel, so they have a daily reminder of what really matters. Do whatever works for you.
The best part of these alternatives? You don't have to wait for January 1st for any of them! Every day is a good day to make the next good choice. Here at the GLP, we are so excited to kick off 2025 with you! Your coaches are ready and waiting to connect with you in your coaching session this month and every month to support you in your path toward whatever you have in mind. Thanks for continuing to show up and go on this journey with us.
Happy New Year!
Coach Shani
This blog post was adapted from information provided in the following articles on Psychology Today: Unusual Alternatives to Traditional New Year’s Resolutions and The Psychology Behind New Year’s Resolutions That Work.
